Letting Go
by Mrs. HopeEstheim
Summary: The story of Kiri and Elle at the beginning of their journey to the end of it. KirixElraine.


**Okay, so I couldn't help myself. I just read "Double Arts" and fell in love with it…only to discover that it ended far before it should have. There were dozens of loose ends that weren't tied up and I know that Elle's friend Andie was alive and had a more important role later…and it just makes me wonder why something so amazing was cancelled or discontinued at that point.**

**More importantly, and the reason I'm doing this, is because I fell in love with Elle and Kiri. And the thought of them ending up together and all the hardship they must have gone through. And I don't think I could let them go without writing a little something, and none of the fics I've read fully satisfy my thirst for more (although what I have read were well-written little drabbles!), so here I go.**

**Forgive me if there's anything weird about the way I write them!**

* * *

From the first time he saw the small sister, from his scaffolding as he worked, there was something about her. From her short, pale blue hair to the robe of the Sisters that she wore despite the heat…there was something about her and he just couldn't place what it was. So when he was called down, work over for the time being, his first instinct was to glance around for her…and when Kiri saw the girl on the ground, he was frightened and he didn't know why.

He'd rushed to her, calling out to her—but she didn't seem to hear him. She was coughing, the type of coughs that wracked the body and made everything hurt. Her shoulders were shaking, everything about her was shaking, and he thought he was going crazy when he saw the cobbles underneath her through her hands. But he called to her insistently and when she fell, he caught her.

That was the moment he first met Sister Elraine, and though he hadn't known just what that would mean, Kiri was glad that he had saved her.

* * *

When her seizure had begun, the Sister had been scared. Of course she would be—no one is ever ready for death, despite how much she may have resigned herself or prepared herself for it. The thoughts running through her head, of the people she'd temporarily saved, the ones she'd been too late to save, and of all the people she could have saved had she been just a little stronger…everything plagued her in what she was sure were her last moments.

She couldn't move, and it was hard to breathe between coughs, but she wanted nothing more than to see the end of Troy and to be free of the pain. And yet…here was where her story would end. No one would know how fervently Sister Elraine had wanted to save everyone, or how hard she tried as she pressed on, day after day, patient after patient. No one would know that her only wish was to see the disease gone, to see everyone with smiles on their faces and no more fear in the air.

She fell—death at last was taking her, she wouldn't have to experience the full vanishing—but then she felt light, and warm, and there was a blonde boy above her, asking her if she was okay.

At first, Elraine was scared that she'd be the death of Kiri, but when he turned out to be the long-sought person who was immune to the Vanishing Disease, and the only thing that could keep her seizures at bay and keep her alive, she didn't know just what that would mean. She was only happy that she might actually live to see the end of Troy.

* * *

The first few nights were hell on them both. Elle, as she finally told him to call her, was constantly shyly asking him not to look, or telling him not to, and he was too much of a gentleman to do anything even if he had wanted to. There was also the fact that he respected her.

For the first time, Elle started to see what it was really like to be a normal person, and she began to understand what she'd been missing out on. She couldn't ever go back, that was for certain, but now she knew, more than ever, just what she had been fighting to protect all this time. If every family could be as happy as Kiri's family, she would give anything, even her life, to see it happen.

Kiri started to learn what he'd never known about the Sisters before. They fought Troy, yes, but their cures weren't permanent—they weren't even cures. They could just treat Troy, fight the end temporarily…all by drawing the poison into their own bodies. All the Sisters had the disease, and they still went out to save people, just like every day before. When they went to the hidden retreat and all the Sisters risked their lives to protect the two of them, he was torn. They put their lives on the line because Kiri represented the 'hope' of the world, and he just couldn't deal with that. He understood, and he had begun to learn just how strong Elraine had to be to keep going.

It was a constant learning process. The Gazelles constantly attacked, and they were constantly being saved. There wasn't anything they could do, linked together by their hands as they were. And Kiri refused to let go, because if he did, Elle would die.

But as time wore on, they learned. They learned to live together and 'dance' together, to fight and to press on even when living was hard or death seemed imminent. The road to the capital wasn't easy—of course it wasn't—but they fought forward. Kiri drew his strength from Elle, the girl on the verge of death who was still fighting towards her dream of ridding the world of Troy…but Elle drew her strength from Kiri, not only by constantly touching him so she would live, but also taking comfort from his words and just his presence.

They grew on each other. It seemed natural and it felt…_right_.

* * *

When they reunited with Andie, it felt like everything would be all right again. Fallan had come along with them, as well as Sui, so they already had little to worry about…or so they had thought. But when Kiri saw the utter relief that lit up Elle's face when she realized that her dearest friend was still alive, that she hadn't been eliminated with the rest of the Falzen Brigade…he couldn't bring himself to say anything about how they needed to keep moving, about how the presence of one person might not be enough to tip the balance between life and death. He couldn't say anything when Elle was so happy.

"This is Andie, Kiri!" she had said, breathlessly and excitedly. "Andie, this is our hope, Kiri!"

And even though Andie was still hurting from the loss of all of her comrades, she offered a smile. She found comfort from Elle's presence just as Elle found comfort from hers. It didn't erase the pain of losing her fellow squad members, but Kiri could tell that Andie was put more at ease within a few hours than she had been, just from Elle's company. Kiri felt like he was in the way, but he couldn't leave Elle's side, so he felt kind of like a third wheel.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Andie had found them, and Elle had already fallen asleep. They didn't have the liberty of any sort of divider, so Kiri let himself watch her sleep. Her face was so innocent, so untroubled, on this night. He knew she'd had nightmares before, had heard her whimper once in her sleep, but so far that night she'd been fine.

"Our 'hope'," a voice said softly behind him. Surprised, and mildly embarrassed at being caught watching her, Kiri turned. Andie came and sat on Elle's other side, gazing down at her oldest friend with a soft smile. She looked to Kiri, then, and he felt like she was searching his soul. A thoughtful expression crossed over her face, her brow furrowing in thought, before softening as she turned back to Elle and said, "She doesn't just mean that you're the world's 'hope', you know."

And, with more conviction than he'd realized as Kiri himself gazed back down at Elle, he replied, "I know."

He felt rather than saw the sharp glance that Andie threw his way.

"She trusts you…almost more than she trusts me. You know?"

He didn't know that much. Andie laughed softly as Elle yanked her arm in her sleep as she rolled over, causing Kiri to have to catch himself with their tied hands or he would have fallen on her. The situation was embarrassing, and the position compromising, so he would be grateful for a long time that she didn't wake up that night.

"If something happens to me, or if I'm not in a position to protect her…you'll do your best, right?" Andie asked, but before Kiri could answer, she continued, "Never mind that. I know you will...I'm just worried. I don't want anything to happen to Elle. I'm sure you understand that."

"More than you'd think," Kiri responded, slightly breathlessly as he tried to figure out how to move without waking Elle up. His shoulder brushed Andie's arm as she stood from her spot. Before she could change her mind and settle back down, the blonde boy pushed himself all the way up on his free hand and his toes and stepped over her before letting himself collapse. He had to face Elle to be comfortable, but it didn't matter to him.

"Take care of her, then. Good night, Kiri."

It was the first time Andie had addressed him by his name, and he wasn't sure what to think. So he muttered a good night back, wary of waking the sleeping Sister whose hand he held tightly in his own, and settled down to sleep.

Andie would never quite understand how far Kiri would go to save Elle if he had to. He wasn't even sure himself, but he felt like he could give his life for her, if only her life didn't depend on him.

* * *

Three months passed, with trials and victories and near-death experiences, but somehow, through some miracle, they reached the capital alive. Sister Martha cried—real tears of relief, thankful that the Sister who had found the one immune person had been able to bring him back safely, despite the constant interference of the Gazelles, and that Andie of the Falzen Brigade had somehow survived with the sacrifice of her comrades.

Kiri had thought that was the end…but before testing could start, before they could see what made him special and immune, Lucci Zezu made his next appearance. The Sisters who valiantly threw themselves in the way weren't the militaristic type, so they were tossed aside roughly, injured, and all that stood between this man and Kiri were Sui, Fallan, and Andie…but being in front of him one second didn't matter in the next.

Elle had acted as soon as Zezu disappeared—she spun, and because of their training in Double Arts, Kiri followed reflexively. The kick that Elle threw at the man was useless, of course, but she took the blow she'd intended to take, stumbling back and almost tangling her legs with Kiri's. That gave Fallan and Andie and Sui the openings the needed to distract, and Kiri felt utterly useless. He hadn't sensed Zezu's presence, but Elle had acted on reflex, pulling him out of harm's way.

The hit he had dealt her wasn't going to kill her unless he got another hit in or unless she did a lot to agitate it, but Kiri knew it hurt. But he knew he couldn't allow them to be separated, even if she would only slow him down right now. She'd have far less time—he'd learned that when she'd been yanked from his grasp just a month earlier. Since she had selflessly saved Sister Heine and drawn her poison into herself, her seizures took hold much quicker and fiercer than before. She had pushed her resistance far past its limit…and five seconds now could be the end of her.

Kiri couldn't let that happen.

"It'll be okay, Elle," he found himself saying even as Sui was tossed backwards like a sack of potatoes. She was ready for more and charged back, trying to find an opening, which was just like her, but Kiri was more worried about Elle.

"If you have to…" the Sister managed, "…run away without me."

"Like hell I will!" Kiri growled as Fallan landed a blow that drove Zezu backwards. It was the first hit that Kiri had ever seen have any effect whatsoever on the man of crows.

Elle smiled. "I knew you'd say that."

"Good," Kiri said stiffly, thinking, _if you knew, why did you even tell me to run away without you?_ but out loud he said, "Ready to dance with me again?"

"Always," she said, straightening up even though he could see it hurt her. "Let's go!"

And they joined in.

* * *

When the battle was over, Zezu having fled—because how were you supposed to completely defeat that, even when you outnumber him five to one, plus the random Sisters that did their best to help?—Kiri was appalled to hear what they wanted him to do.

They wanted him to _let go of Elle's hand_.

Sister Elraine, one of their most famous and most idolized members, looked up to by the younger Sisters as the one who had helped the most people…and they were okay if she died now that she'd brought him there alive.

"She's done her job, as she was supposed to do," one of the researching Sisters said, sadly, "and it's unfortunate…but we don't have any other way. What if being in contact with her, who has taken in more of the disease than anyone, will adversely affect our readings when we examine you? We can't take that risk. Surely Sister Elraine knew this from the start."

She had…he could tell just from the expression she wore. But he could tell now that she wasn't ready anymore to sign her life away like she had been mostly prepared to at the beginning of their journey. Kiri had taught Elle how to live again, and how to love living…and now they wanted to take that away from her…they wanted to take _her_ away from _him_. Kiri couldn't even bear thinking about it, and loudly protested.

Again, he cried, "Like hell I will!" the full force of his fury evident. "We've come all this way together and the only thing that kept me going was thinking that it was _Elle's_ dream to see the end of the disease! And now you're trying to tell me that she has to die so that I can help you end it?"

"We've all had to make sacrifices—"

"I don't give a damn about your sacrifices!" Kiri shouted. He was beyond anger, and despite the tugging he could feel, Elle trying to remove her hand from his grasp, he wouldn't let go. He _couldn't_. "I promised that no one else would have to die to help me get here, not if I could help it, and I _can_ help this! You won't convince me to let go—_you can't make me let her go_!"

"Kiri, please listen—" Elle tried with her soft voice, but he wouldn't hear it.

"After all we've been through…" he said it mostly to her, looking right into her eyes—beautiful green eyes, how had he never _realized_ that before?—and he saw the sadness, the pain, the _longing_. "After all we've been through, Elle, I…_I can't_."

_I can't let you go_.

"I'm just one person, Kiri," Elle tried to reason with him further. "You could potentially save the world. The sacrifice of one more person in the grand scheme of things will be much less than saving the world. Don't you think?"

"Not if that one person is you!"

He'd said it—he'd finally said it. Something he'd wanted to say for a long time. Sure, it wasn't completely clear, but he knew she understood him, and he could see it dawning on the faces of the research Sisters. The expression on Andie's face just told him that she'd known all along—or at least since those talks they'd had late at night after the exhausted Elle had fallen asleep. Sui looked very much like she wanted to tease them, but she knew it wasn't the time.

Elle's gentle, _cold_ fingers touched his cheek. He hadn't realized how much colder she'd gotten, even though they were constantly in contact.

"I understand," she said softly, her green eyes boring into him, "but we can't be selfish right now, Kiri."

"Please, Mr. Kiri, understand—" the head research Sister began but Andie cut her off.

"Kiri's immune to Troy," she said flatly. "_Immune_ means that he's protected from getting the disease because of his natural resistance. So…even if he's in contact with Elle, he shouldn't show any effects because his body rejects the disease and once it enters his body, his leukocytes attack and destroy it. What does it hurt, trying to keep her alive while running tests the first time? It can't possibly take more than a week or two before you know whether or not her disease affects the results from him, and the Traveling Sisters are good at their jobs. There won't be much more loss of life from just two weeks…so take the chance that the Troy in Elle _won't_ affect the readings before ordering him to kill her."

_Ordering him to kill her_.

Kiri thought those words must have rung in every ear for a long time after Andie said them. And he realized that she was right. They _were_ asking him to kill her. And once he thought that way, he couldn't see any other point of view.

"Listen to them," Sister Martha had just reappeared, after having taken Fallan aside to talk to him. "There isn't any harm in trying it…and I don't want to lose one of our best, most dedicated Sisters if there's anything I can do to prevent it. Take your measurements with the two of them touching at all times."

"Yes, ma'am!"

And Kiri felt the relief flood him. Subconsciously, he squeezed Elle's hand tighter and he was surprised when he squeezed back.

"Well, right this way, Mr. Kiri, Sister Elraine."

"Yes!" Elle said, and Kiri couldn't help but just follow along. The only thing he could think about was that he didn't have to let go of her hand—not now. He wouldn't let go of her until he was sure they'd cured her…and even then, he wouldn't want to.

* * *

"It's okay, Kiri," her voice was gentle, like always. So gentle it kind of hurt him, as weird as that might be. "You can let go now, Kiri. _It works_. We've tested it again and again…it's been two years and no one who has been treated by your cure has had a reoccurrence of Troy. You've saved us all…so you can let go now."

How could he tell her? She acted like she didn't know, but he was sure she just wanted to hear him say it.

_I don't want to let go_.

He was afraid that if he let her go, he wouldn't have a reason to be around her anymore. He didn't want a reason, but he was afraid he needed a reason to stay with her. And he didn't think his feelings would be enough…he didn't think they'd buy that he _needed_ her.

"Kiri?" her fingers—so warm this time, so warm that he knew the cure had to have worked—brushed his hair from his forehead. "Are you alright, Kiri? I already told you, you don't have anything to worry about—"

"I don't _want_ to let go," he blurted before he could think better of it. Elle blinked, looked at him blankly for a moment, then smiled softly at him.

"You don't have to, but you _can_ let go now if you want."

"I won't," he was relieved that she wasn't going to force him to let go, that she wasn't disgusted with him. And he had waited almost two and a half years to do this, so he wouldn't wait anymore. Kiri took her into his arms, her hair trailing over his arms from where it had grown, down to the middle of her back. And maybe he wasn't holding her hand at that exact moment, but he was holding her tighter than he'd ever held her before. "I won't ever let go...if you don't have a problem with that."

"I was hoping you'd understand," Elle whispered softly, her hands reaching up and clutching him just as tightly. "I don't _want _you to ever let go."

And he vowed there that he wouldn't. If there was anything he could do about it, Kiri would never let go of the Sister who'd stolen his heart.

* * *

**WAAAAAH. I'm sorry, I probably butchered them. But I love them so much I had to try writing them.**

**I hope you enjoyed it, the few of you that might read it, and thank you so much! I kind of made a few things up about after where it cuts off, but I hope you don't mind. **

**Again, thanks for reading!**

**EDIT: Thanks to the lovely _Ulcaasi_ for finding a correction for me! :)**


End file.
